


Wacky Wednesday

by craptaincold (taakoshell), taakoshell



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Bodyswap, M/M, it's an effect of time jumping, len and ray swap bodies, leonard snart doesn't know a Feeling, mick and sara are highkey amused, rip is done with them, so rating may change, there's probably gonna be some smut in here at some point, they hate it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-22 15:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9613160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taakoshell/pseuds/craptaincold, https://archiveofourown.org/users/taakoshell/pseuds/taakoshell
Summary: There were a few side effects of time jumps that Rip had neglected to mention.  But the fact was, they were so rare that he didn’t see the need to mention them.  Out of the hundreds of thousands of instances of time travel that he’s studied and experienced himself over the years, body swapping had only ever been reported once.  How was he to guess that it would happen to a couple of his teammates?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to my Snatties for letting me dump snippets of this on them in the groupchat, love yall n thanks for ur support xoxo gossip girl
> 
> also, this is what happens when u listen to bad romance on repeat for four (4) hrs straight while writing, never let me near any music ever again

There were a few side effects of time jumps that Rip had neglected to mention.  But the fact was, they were so rare that he didn’t see the need to mention them.  Out of the hundreds of thousands of instances of time travel that he’s studied and experienced himself over the years, body swapping had only ever been reported once.  How was he to guess that it would happen to a couple of his teammates?  He couldn’t.  So he wasn’t to blame, or so he reassured himself, as he shifted his gaze from the document he was reading to the two bickering in the ship’s bridge.  It wasn’t a new scene; Raymond and Leonard were often prone to disagreements, but it was extremely unsettling to hear Ray’s voice using Snart’s signature drawl.  It seemed that was a trait that wasn’t lost in the swap.

Rip sighed, putting his paper down.

“Could you two stop arguing for two seconds, maybe?  Researching how to reverse this would certainly go a lot easier with some peace and quiet.”

“I’m sure it would, _captain_ ,” came Leonard’s reply, the last word spat scornfully.  Which, again, was extremely unsettling to hear in Ray’s voice.  Rip’s eye twitched.  “But perhaps we would be more prepared for this situation if you had told us it was a possibility in the first place.”

“Hey.  It isn’t Rip’s fault this happened,” Ray defended, Len’s voice coming out clear and without a hint of spite, which was also unsettling.  Everything about this was unsettling, Rip had decided.  It needed to be fixed immediately.

Leonard was about to make a remark about how much of a teacher’s pet Ray was when Mick decided to walk into the room.

“Ah.  You guys are still Freaky Friday-ing it up in here.  Good.  I thought I drank too much or somethin’ last night.”

“Well, it would be good for you to lay off the alcohol a little, anyway,” Ray piped in.

“Don’t talk to me when you’re like that.  It makes me uncomfortable.”

“You wouldn’t be the only one, Mr. Rory,” Rip said.

“And what am I supposed to call you when you’re like this?  You ain’t got a haircut anymore.”

“You could just call me Ray.  Because that’s my name.  I have one of those.”

“Why the fuck would I do that?”

“Okay, I’m done here.” Rip stood up suddenly, opting to find somewhere less… crowded to work.

“Peace out, sailor scout,” Leonard said.  Ray raised an eyebrow, which seemed to be a quirk that he recently picked up in his new body.

“Sailor scout?  Do you like Sailor Moon?”

“My sister used to watch it, so I was forced to watch it with her.  What’s your excuse?”

“Sailor Moon is a remarkable piece of animation.  It really paved the way for future anime and western animation as well.  Like, in modern cartoons, there’s a ton of references to-“

“Are you aware that I don’t care?”

“You’re the one who brought it up in the first place.”

“No, you’re the one who brought it up.  I was just saying goodbye to our dear captain.”

“Well, you could’ve just said bye, like a normal person.”

“Is anything in our situation considered normal right now, Raymond?”

“Yeah, you two arguing is.  Why don’t y’all take this to the bedroom or somethin’?”  Mick helpfully supplied.  Len rolled his eyes while Ray turned a light shade of pink, which was yet another unsettling thing to witness with their predicament.

“Why would we do that?  We don’t like each other like that.  That’s ridiculous, and I-“ Ray started, and Len cut him off.

“New rule.  No babbling while you’re in my body.  You’re giving me secondhand embarrassment.”

“I’m getting secondhand embarrassment watchin’ you two like this,” Mick said.

“Thank you, Mick.  Really.  Your input is always appreciated,” Ray quipped.  Len looked amused.  Mick just nodded.

“You’re welcome.”

“Not that I wouldn’t love to stick around to chat like this some more, but I would say I could use a shower,” Len said as he made his way to the hallway.  Ray furrowed his eyebrows.

“Don’t do anything weird.”

“Now, Raymond, what on earth do you mean by that?”

“Nothing.”  He huffed.  “Just.  Nothing weird.  That’s my body you’re in.”

“Really?  All this time I thought there was just a mirror that I was talking to for the past hour.”

He thought that earned a laugh out of Ray, from what he could hear as he walked away.  That was good.  He liked making Ray laugh almost as much as he liked annoying him.  Not that he would ever admit that.  Leonard Snart doesn’t know Feelings.  Who is she?

Leonard wasn’t even planning on doing anything “weird” in Raymond’s body, but the fact that he even brought it up must mean he’s hiding something.  Maybe he’s well endowed and is embarrassed of the fact.  Or he just thinks Leonard is a pervert with no restraint.  Len snorted at the thought.  Maybe it’s a combination of both.

So, of course Leonard was curious when he began to strip to get into the shower.  When he took off his garments, he blinked a few times in surprise when he looked down.  Turns out he was right with the first guess.  Raymond was…  big, to put it lightly.  Big in every way.  He was surprisingly muscular, with a very attractive build.

“Huh.”

That was an interesting revelation.  Len didn’t know what to do with this information, of what his teammate looked like under his always modest clothing.  So he simply shrugged it off, stowing it away for another time, maybe when he was in need for some new late night fantasy material.

Honestly, the hardest part of showering in this new body was figuring out what to do with his hair.  He figured he probably had to take more time into washing it than he normally did.  He remembered, vaguely, of how annoying it was when he didn’t wash all the shampoo out of his hair in his younger years.  It came out feeling dirty even though he had just washed it.  Long hair was a pain, even if it was only as long as Raymond’s.  He briefly thought about just shaving it off, but he figured it wouldn’t be worth the wrath he would get from the other man.

It was also annoying how often it got in his face.  It wasn’t even that long, but there it was.  Partially restricting his vision.  When he got out of the shower, he took a good few minutes trying to style it like how it normally looks when Ray’s the one wearing it.  He had no idea how Ray managed this every day.  It was annoying.  Much like the man himself, he thought.  When he finally got his hair to look as decent as he could manage, it donned on him that his normal clothes that he brought in with him probably wouldn’t fit him in this body.  He smirked slightly.  Seeing Raymond in tighter clothing would be a treat, though, even if he wouldn’t be able to appreciate it anywhere else but in the mirror.  So he decided to go with it.  Raymond’s reaction would probably be worth while.

He was right, of course.

When Leonard stepped out into the bridge where Ray and Mick had continued their previous conversation, Ray’s eyes widened and he almost fell out of his chair.  Mick didn’t react much other than to give an appreciative nod and grunt.  Len smirked again, a look that seemed out of place on Raymond’s face.

“You alright there, Raymond?”

“What are you wearing?”  Ray gaped.

“Clothes.  I forgot that they wouldn’t fit me as well when I brought them in with me, but I didn’t feel like going through your clothes to find something,” Leonard half lied.

“Okay, but why does my hair look like that?”  Ray looked so appalled that Len had to stifle a snort.

“Because it’s too long and impossible to style without me shaving it all off.”

“Let me fix it, then.  I can’t believe…”  Ray sighed, making his way over to Leonard.  Len once again couldn’t help the look of amusement that crept onto his face as he stooped down a little to let Ray have a go at his hair.  He wasn’t used to being taller like this, but he definitely didn’t mind it.  After a minute of Ray fussing around, he stepped away, nodding in satisfaction.

“There.  That’s better.”

“I’m sure it is.  It would be even better if I cut it off.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Don’t worry, Cupcake.  I won’t.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Yeah, just call him Idiot.  That’s what I’m gonna call him for now,” Mick interjected.

“Very creative,” Len said.

“Thanks.”

“Again.  I have an actual name.”

“Yeah.  It’s Idiot,” Mick agreed.

“Okay, you know what?  I’m done here.  I’m gonna go work on my atom suit.”  Ray huffed as he walked off.

“Peace out, sailor scout,” Len called after him.

“Shut up!”  Ray shouted back.

Once Ray was out of earshot, Mick snickered, shaking his head.

“You’ve got it bad for the idiot, huh?”  Len hummed, stretching against the piece of wall he had took to leaning on.

“Surprisingly, being trapped in his body isn’t the worst thing that has happened to me.”

“You’re gonna tell him.  If you don’t, I will.”  Len glared at him.

“I’m not telling him anything.”

“Fine.  Then you’re gonna miss out, and you’re gonna regret it for the rest of your life.  He may be an idiot, but he’s a good idiot.  He’d certainly do _you_ some good.”

“I’m going to go train,” Len stated, decidedly changing the subject.  “I should get used to prancing around in this body in case we get called in for a mission.”

“Don’t strain yourself.  Don’t think Pretty Boy would like it if you messed up his pretty body.”

Len rolled his eyes and walked off to the cargo bay, which had somehow transformed into the team’s makeshift training room.  He was surprised to find Ray already in there, giving the punching bag they stole from another time a real piece of his mind.  Len watched him for a while, Ray obviously not noticing he had entered the room.  He watched the way his own body flexed and glistened with sweat, moving awkwardly with the person steering it obviously not knowing how to most efficiently maneuver it.  Len scoffed loudly, finally making his presence known.  Ray jumped a little.

“You know, I came here to get away for a bit.”  Ray crossed his arms.

“So did I.  Your technique is horrible.”

“Oh yeah?  Then why don’t you show me your technique?  This is your body, after all.”

“Are you challenging me, Raymond?”

“Maybe.  I mean, it would be kind of interesting to fight against my own body.”

“Fine.  Then let’s do this.”

Len rolled his neck, loosening up the muscles as he approached the other.  Ray immediately tensed up, assuming a fighting stance.  Len tsked.

“Step one, Raymond.  Don’t be so tense.  Relax.  If you’re tense, you’re easy to distract.  For example,” he said as he very easily managed to flip Ray over after acting like he was going in for a punch.  Ray called out in pain and shot Leonard a glare.  But before Len could continue on with step two, Ray somehow managed to trip him so Len was also on the floor.  Ray quickly rolled on top of him, pinning him to the ground and grinning.

“I win.”  Len declared.  Ray blinked in confusion.

“But I have you pinned to the ground.”

“Exactly.”  Len smirked.  Ray blushed slightly and rolled off him with a huff.  He was about to retaliate with something along the lines of “stop flirting with me in my own body this is awful and makes me feel weird”, when Sara and Kendra walked in, obviously looking to do a little sparring practice of their own.

“You boys need a moment?”  Sara asked with an eyebrow raised.  Len shook his head and got up.

“No.  I think we’re done here.”

Leonard’s sudden shift in attitude upset Ray, for some reason.  When they were alone just now, or any time they were alone really, Len always seemed more relaxed.  More easy to joke around with.  But when others joined them, he went back to his usual aloof self.  Ray sighed and got up as well, giving a small smile to the ladies and left the room without another word.  Len watched him leave.

Turns out, Leonard Snart did know Feelings, but he wasn’t too happy to be acquainted. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ray learns a thing or two about the importance of skin care

They had avoided each other after their training session for the rest of the day.  It wasn’t easy, living in such close quarters, but they managed.  Ray would walk into a room Len was in, Len would get up and leave.  It hurt Ray’s feelings, that much was obvious by the hurt puppy look that would come across his (Len’s?) face.  But running from feelings was just Leonard’s way of ~~not~~ coping with them.  He hadn’t realized how bad he had it until Mick’s confrontation with him earlier, and their sparring in the cargo bay certainly didn’t help.  Before, he thought he only ever threw harmless flirting Raymond’s way, that there were no feelings involved, that it was fun to just get a reaction out of him.  He started to panic when he realized that he actually meant it.

But even under such a panic, Leonard managed to keep his cool.  It was what he was trained to do his whole life.  Displays of emotions were a weakness that he wanted to avoid.  Emotions, in general, were a weakness.

It was hard though, to avoid the source of Leonard’s turmoil the next day, when he spotted Raymond the next day.  He was planning to ignore him again, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that this idiot wasn’t properly taking care of his skin.

“You look terrible.”  Leonard greeted.

“Thanks.  This is your body, you know.  You’re kind of only insulting yourself.”  Raymond scoffed a laugh, trying and failing to be offended, because at least Len wasn’t ignoring him anymore.

“I’m well aware.  You haven’t been taking care of it.”

“What?  Yeah, I have.  I’ve been eating and showering and working out and–“

“Have you been moisturizing?”  Len demanded.  Ray blinked a few times.

“Huh?”

“Moisturizing.  Obviously, you don’t appreciate good skin care, do you, Raymond?”

“I, uh…  No?  I didn’t know you even bothered with skin care.”

“Of course I do.  You think I’m naturally this gorgeous?”  Ray had to stop himself from saying “yes” before Leonard continued, “Come on.  I’m going to teach you something useful today, Raymond.”

“I, um, okay,” Ray stuttered as Len grabbed his arm and dragged him off to the bathroom.

When they got there, Leonard forcibly sat Ray down on the toilet.  All Raymond could do was watch Len curiously as he rummaged through the cupboard to find his supplies, pulling out three bottles, a washcloth, a piece of cotton, and what looked like a small vial of cream.  He picked up the biggest bottle first, squirting some of the substance on to his hands.

“This is called a cleanser.  Basically, it helps melt away all the gunk and dry skin cells that build up on your face,” Len explained.  “Look towards me.”  Ray did as he was told, and tried to stifle his surprise when Len began rubbing the solution on to his face.  Okay, he should’ve seen face touching coming.  But being in this position, his face so close to Leonard’s, while Leonard gently massaged his face was… oddly relaxing.

“You’re good with your hands,” Ray commented.  Len snorted.

“You should see what else they can do,” Len replied, but the innuendo was missed on Ray.  He was too zoned out at this point to pay attention to what he was saying, but Leonard still went on with his commentary as he finished up the first step of his skin care routine.  After wiping off the cleanser, he picked up another bottle that was labeled “CUCUMBER WATER” in fancy green lettering and poured some on the cotton.

“This is a toner.  It refreshes your skin and tightens your pores.”

 “It smells terrible.”  Ray grimaced.

“Such is the price of beauty.”  He repeated his earlier actions, massaging the cotton all over Ray’s face, and down to his neck.

“I’m not going to smell like this now, am I?”  Ray frowned.

“No.  You’d know if you ever paid attention enough to notice what I normally smell like, and it doesn’t smell like this.”

“I’m not going to just stand there and sniff you.”

“And no one is going to do that to you either, even if you did end up smelling like this.  So relax.”

Ray huffed but seemed satisfied with his answer.  Len rolled his eyes and moved on, this time reaching for the smallest bottle.

“This is an antioxidant.  It goes around the eyes and helps get rid of dark circles and all that jazz.  So close ‘em.”  Ray once again did as he was told, closing his eyes as Len rubbed the serum on him.  With his eyes closed, it was even easier for Ray to drift off, even if this step was shorter than the others.

“Now what?”  Ray asked, opening his eyes after he felt Leonard’s hands pull away.

“Now, you moisturize,” Len stated as he reached for the cream.

“You know, I don’t think even any of my past girlfriends were so into skin care.”  Ray chuckled lightly.  Len raised an eyebrow.

“Obviously, they don’t know what’s good for them then,” Leonard replied as he began rubbing the moisturizer on the other’s face.

“Obviously not.”

They shared a comfortable silence after that, and Ray couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips.  This was an intimate moment, which was something he thought he would never have with Snart.  Len, he figured, was like David Bowie’s _The_ _Labyrinth_ ; impossible to figure out and full of bizarre twists and turns and when you finally think you know what direction you’re going in to get to the heart of it, you end up even further away than before.  Except, you know, without all the cheesy 80’s puppets and goblins that steal babies.

Ray cleared his throat, disrupting their quiet moment.

“Hey, so uh…  Since you’re doing this, maybe I could give you some hair care tips while you’re stuck in my body…?  I mean, it would only be fair, right?”  Len hummed in consideration.

“I suppose that would be fair, yes.  But you know I hardly ever am fair.”

“Is that a yes or a no?  Hey, wait, have you been using your skin care stuff on my face too?”  Ray squinted, just now noticing how bright and clear his usual self looked.

“Maybe and maybe.  You have a different skin type than I do, so I had to change it up a bit to suit your needs, but I’d say it’s a definite improvement, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess…  Could you… maybe, write it down for me so I can remember it when we switch back?  If it’s anything like what we’re doing now, I wouldn’t mind keeping up with it.  This is surprisingly relaxing.”

“Will do.”  Len smirked.  “You’re done now, by the way.  Feel free to scram so I can get on with my own routine.”

“Oh.  Right.  Sorry.”  Ray got up and made his way to the door, peeking in the mirror when he passed by it.  He smiled again and stopped at the doorway.  “Thanks, Leonard.  This was fun.  And informative.”

“Don’t think I did this because I like you, Raymond.  I was only looking after my own skin.  Literally.”  Ray deflated a little, but shook his head.

“Whatever you say.  I know there’s a heart in there somewhere.”  He smiled one final time and left the other alone to start his routine.

Ray knew he would be able to make it to the heart of the labyrinth one day, and hopefully maybe someday soon.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me, user craptaincold, on tumblr dot com !!


End file.
